


still want to see you (tomorrow)

by fearmedecember



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Slice of Life, basically me being self-indulgent over a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 07:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21095795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearmedecember/pseuds/fearmedecember
Summary: “It’s okay, Youn. It will be okay.”Seungyoun heard the soft voice full of conviction, warm confidence that he didn’t know where it was rooted. Still, it did something to his being, as it always did. He lifted his eyes to search for Wooseok’s, finding the assurance that he knew was there. But, how?“How could you be so sure, Seok-ah?”“Because I know you.”





	still want to see you (tomorrow)

**Author's Note:**

> Uh hi. This is something that comes out of me being self-indulging over a song and think 'hey this is seungseok, too.' Unbetaed, disjointed and all over the place. Still, thank you for trying this out. Enjoy ^^.

_ ii _ _ . _ _ w__hat does it __means __to share, if it’s nothing but pressure and __uncertainty _

The cold water slapped the sleep away from his face, as Seungyoun saw the droplets splattering to the sink under. The water was a bit murky, and cold. He knew the dorm was a tad bit old, but he really thought the water heating system worked fine at least (It wasn’t). Who was he to complain about anything here, though. Even to be a part of this golden chance to turn around his path was a blessing, although some of his acquaintances didn’t think as much. He just has to deal with the coldness, playing pretend that it was indeed the unluckiest thing he had to face that night. As if it could even rival the distress that was the reflection in the mirror. 

“You okay there?” 

The voice startled him for a second too long, before he finally gathered himself. Wooseok. _Is there even anyone who will be up this late other than him, this past week? _Seungyoun asked himself the question, wordy and unneeded, for a question that only has one answer. 

“You should probably sleep it off. There’s plenty of time tomorrow to practice it again,” he heard Wooseok, hint of worry presented if he could convince himself that much that it really _was _there and not some fragments of his three-a.m. deluded mind. (It probably was the later; he decidedly believed.) 

“You should probably sleep it off, too,” Seungyoun reversed the sentiment, handing him the towel he hasn’t use, face still wet from earlier. 

Wooseok received it, a slight smile donned his face, as he began to dry it. 

“Yeah, I should probably sleep it off. These air-conditioned rooms really get to me, I guess. Can almost feel my voice getting hoarse,” he said, handing back the used towel to Seungyoun. It’s a bit wet as expected, but Seungyoun used it anyway. 

“And we can’t have that, can we,_ me-__bo _?” Seungyoun teased him easy. It’s always too easy, despite the situation they were in, to tease Wooseok and his main vocal position, for once. Seungyoun knew he would get the initial glare followed by a frown. (And he also knew what that cute little frown can do to his damaged heart, but he will do it again every other time just to see the relaxed shoulders after.) 

And probably a hit in the arm. Or two. 

Seungyoun laughed it off, brushing his left arm that wasn’t even hurt, “But to be honest, I can’t afford to sleep now. Need to go through the kids’ lyrics again.” 

And the frown was there again. And Seungyoun didn’t know how to feel again. 

He threw his gaze everywhere, but Wooseok’s eyes. Afraid the younger could catch what’s he’s been trying to bury inside. This dizzying responsibility, the burden he couldn’t find a place to share, the anxiousness about not only his future, but his other three team members. After all, they said pain recognized one another. 

His eyes landed on the L letter embedded on Wooseok’s left chest, mirroring his own. _ Oh, __look __at how misery loves company _ _ . _

Seungyoun felt a tug over his towel. There, he saw Wooseok’s fingers clutching over it, tugging some to his direction. 

“Hey. Stop thinking too much, okay?” 

“I-” 

“You think I didn’t see you zoning out.” 

“No no, it’s not… it’s just that… I don’t know. Sometimes it gets too much? I don’t know Seok… it’s like everything is on me, and we have two trainees with the lowest rank, and I want them to make it. I _ need _ them to make it. I just… I want them to have the best stage, that’s all.” 

“It’s okay, Youn. It will be okay.” 

Seungyoun heard the soft voice full of conviction, warm confidence that he didn’t know where it was rooted. Still, it did something to his being, as it always did. He lifted his eyes to search for Wooseok’s, finding the assurance that he knew was there. But, how? 

“How could you be so sure, Seok-ah?” 

“Because I know you.” 

Seungyoun hated it when silence takes over, hated how it means he cannot hide behind the loudness of sound or his own voice, hated how the lack of noise laid bare his fear for all the world to see and judge. But, this current world consisted of Wooseok and Wooseok only. Leaving no room for doubt and self pretense. So, he let silence took over once again, until there’s nothing more to read from his tired eyes. 

“If I go to sleep now,” Wooseok fully tugged the towel, replacing the grip on Seungyoun’s hand with his own, “promise me you will too?” Those doe eyes searching for his, a silence plead as Wooseok harden his grip on him. 

Seungyoun softly nodded, hands being pulled by a smiling Wooseok that lead the way to their dormitory. 

_Tomorrow_, Seungyoun thought, _yeah __there’s still tomorrow_. 

_ iii__. __after all the lights are out, what we ought to feel other than loneliness? _

They’ve talked about this between themselves before, the debuted trainees. Played scenario by scenario of how this night would go, how many of them would probably make it, how hard they’re going to cry in front of the whole country, and which direction they were going after the announcement they’ve been dreading since the first tapping months ago. 

But nothing, nothing will ever prepare Seungyoun for what actually came. 

After shedding a gazillion of tears during the encore, in between the paper fireworks and hugs they share with all the trainees and trainers, he found himself in a lightless corner behind the stage. Drying the remaining tears that didn’t seem to stop anytime soon. 

There was happiness. There was relief. There was honor. 

But most of all, there was a pang of pain in the chest, an uneasiness of how it all will work tomorrow. 

Seungyoun felt ungrateful. To even think like this in the midst of such ecstatic news. He tried to keep it all blanketed under his laugh, let it being kicked aside and never to be addressed again. _ At least not tonight _ _ . _ But when there’s no one but him and his thought, the worry showed itself again, demanding and spreading like a wildfire. It burned all the energy he had left, leaving him on the floor, staring silently to nothingness. 

That all, until he heard a familiar sob. The emptiness was suddenly being replaced by a surge of panic. As if his legs have a mind of its own, they got up in hasty, finding the source of the sound in the other corner. He hunched down in front of the petite boy, waiting in silence. He could see him quavering, probably from trying to subside the voice. Seungyoun reach out for the younger’s hand, tentatively touching the edge of his fingers. 

“Hey. It’s me.” 

Wooseok lift his head, letting Seungyoun see the swollen eyes, flooded with tears. Feeling another pang of pain (inevitable, for sure), Seungyoun took some tissues from his coat pocket, softly dabbed it to Wooseok’s cheeks. The younger closed his eyes, squeezing every remaining drop, letting Seungyoun dried the tears. Hopefully, along with the pain that cause it. 

“Isn’t that the tissue that you used before?” Wooseok said, raucous and soft, even when he tried to make it sounds playful. Seungyoun smiled at him, swollen red eyes mirroring the younger. It all suddenly felt ridiculous. How the two of them being there, trying to comfort each other with their eyes still so wet. 

“Beggars can’t be chooser, Seok.” 

“You’re just unhygienic, I knew it.” 

If Seungyoun were panicking before, he could feel it calmed down after this. Wooseok was still able to refute him in the most Wooseok’s way possible and that was the very least a sign that he was pretty fine. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” 

He was met with a silence. Seungyoun looked at those pair of eyes that still holds his universe. 

“It’s overwhelming, Youn. All of these. I-I... don’t know how to feel.” 

Seungyoun could hear the hesitation in his words. “Hey, it’s okay. I know it’s all happening too fast, no matter how prepared we are.” 

“But, it’s stupid. I want this for the longest time?” 

“Doesn’t make your feeling invalid.” 

As much as Seungyoun thought that it really was okay to feel like that, he said it because he needed to hear the words himself. Needed to convince his heart first, before he would even dream of it reaching Wooseok’s. But, he guessed, the message was well delivered, if what happened after was anything to go by. 

One moment Seungyoun was still playing with Wooseok’s fingers, looking back and forth between the floor and the younger. Letting him make peace with whatever storm that raging in his head. Much like what happened inside him. The next one, he could feel warmth radiated through his whole being. Returning the hug that Wooseok gave was almost a subconscious knee-jerk reaction. Although it still didn’t calm the storm that was going downward to his chest. 

They would sleep it off, all the uneasiness and agitation. Let it die down for a night, before knocking back to its door tomorrow and have that long overdue talk. 

_ iv. _ _his smile and his sorrow _

The days that followed were jam-packed with schedules. Seungyoun could barely have any time to be alone, eliminating all the opportunities to overthink, replacing it with do do and do. Recording was done in the speed of light, though he still managed to spend some time to help rearrange some new version of their previously released song. Photoshoot and music video filming came later, jumping them between the makeshift studio or green field full of grass and trees. There were also practices in between, that consumed all of his vitality, until all that’s left after midnight were his exhausted limbs that filled up the front seat of their bus. 

Still, he was grateful for all that. It was a nice shift in his lifestyle, the one he used to have years ago, the one he was so insisted on trying again. And to be able to experience it with another ten beautiful souls that share the same dream were a blessing, to say the least. Seungyoun welcomed the transition, welcome the loudness that now surrounds almost every time – although he did contribute to the majority of it – as if it were something that always there before. Most of all, he welcomed the warmth on the passing midnight before he hit the dreamland. 

On some nights, Wooesok would invite him to his room, sitting shoulder to shoulder on a comfortable silence or just casually share what happened on their day, as if they did not spend it together. On some other woeful nights, there would be tears, there would be insecurities that cannot escape their mind, even though things were insistently going to the better path. It was a futile attempt to always feel content, when life was nothing but a roller-coaster, as their hyung once said. Yet, it was easier to deal with when there’s other soul to share. And Seungyoun never has not being grateful that he met Wooseok. 

_ i. _ _we will meet again, tomorrow _

The practice room of the B Class was almost always occupied, even after the nights fall. Their time was limited. Several days to memorize and perfectly execute a new song and dance routine felt like too big of an assignment. But everyone was full of spirit, although they couldn’t help being on their toes, remembering how important the result to set their foundation in this whole journey. 

It was too early to give up. It was also too early to be sure of your position in the program. 

That's why his response was aghast when Wooseok said he knew they would make it. 

“We will make it, you know, both of us. I can feel it in my guts,” Wooseok said as they walk side by side in the hallway. They just spent several minutes for a bath room break, after spending hours in practice room. Seungyoun didn’t remember any particular topic that bring about that statement from the younger. 

Still stunned, he chose to laugh it off, taking it with a grain of salt. He didn’t want to get his hope too high up too early in their game, afraid that it will impact his state of mind, or worse, causing him to not giving his best. There's one thing to be optimistic, but it’s a whole different thing to set up your expectation too high, when it all could crashed down the next second. 

“Can we trust your guts?” yet, he replied with curiosity. Despite what he belief, Wooseok’s statement intrigued him. 

“Oh, we can. My guts are never wrong.” Wooseok still full of confident, with his crystal-clear eyes that showed his earnestness. Albeit with no clear base. 

Yet, Seungyoun wanted to believe it. Wanted to lull his mind on the earnest eyes that said _ yes you will make it _. Even when the future was still so uncertain, too much factor to direct it to the winding road. Wanted to lay his hope in the confidence that the boy holds. 

So, he did. Diving head first to the new experience of believing Kim Wooseok’s words, no matter how short the time that they’ve shared together before. It felt like putting his concern into the hands of a stranger and let him gamble with it. Too risky, too prone of future pain. But he decidedly took it. 

“Yeah, I'll believe in you, Kim Wooseok.” 

The boy smiles, eyes crinkled behind the round glasses that cover almost half of his face. “Good choices. See you tomorrow, Cho Seungyoun.” 

That too, something Seungyoun were looking for. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was mainly inspired by [this song ](https://open.spotify.com/album/41oqczuAdUkJsTRGTUGvtw). Title is also a loose translation from the lyric. I'm sorry seungseok are such a sad boy in this, but I'm thankful that you spare your time to read this. Also, I mainly scream about seungseok on [twt](https://twitter.com/foxieyoun) :)


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